i hate my job

My new job sucks.

I wasn't going to blog about this, in case someone at my workplace is spying on me. (HR definitely Googled me before I was hired.) But I don't even care anymore. I just hate it.

What a disappointment. New Firm is Crap Firm.

There's no one thing. It's a lot of smaller issues, and cumulatively, they form a very unpleasant work environment. Perhaps I didn't investigate the firm thoroughly enough. I was so happy to get an offer with my unconventional hours, I just snapped it up. But most of these issues couldn't have been known in advance.

Intellectually, I know I'm lucky to have a job that pays decently, has good benefits, blah blah blah. But every day I have to go there - every day I have to think about going there - it wears me down.

I've contacted the other firms who made me offers during my job search, and of course those positions have been filled. I've also emailed my HR contact from Dissolving Firm, at her new firm, to let her know I'm available. All these people know I'm good and will call me if anything opens up.

I'm resuming my job search today, and I'm also contacting former editors. On the writing side, freelance work is slow to come in, and even slower to pay. You can't count on it to live on. On the law firm side, weekend shifts don't open up frequently.

Even so, I'm seriously considering quitting without another job lined up. I've never done that before. It's ridiculous. It's not like we can live on one salary. I have some writing income due in, and we have some savings, but that would disappear mighty quickly. I'll need to work stat.

We have increased expenses right now from vet bills, I was hoping to save for a trip next year, and I'm determined to never be in debt again. So what am I doing??

I know I should be responsible and suck it up. It's not the first sucky job I've had. But I was younger then, I had more tolerance for crap. Mostly, I didn't know any better.

Perhaps my strong sense of always landing on my feet has gone to my head. I can land on my feet, but I can't control the job market. I need this job. I need the paycheque. Yet I'm on the verge of quitting. Holy shit.

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