dear mozilla: it's not me, it's you

Dear Mozilla,

First you tell me I need an upgrade. You nag and nag. Upgrade this, upgrade that.

Finally, I can't stand your pleading, and I give in. I upgrade.

As soon as I do, you tell me the upgrade is outdated! You say I need to install a whole new version. And you won't speak to me until I do.

Not wanting to deal with any more of your immature tantrums, I quickly give in. I install your new version of Firefox. There. Happy now?

No! You're not happy! You're never happy!

After I install the new version, then you tell me that the new version is not compatible with the Google Toolbar!! You wait until after we've moved in together to tell me you're unemployed and can't pay the rent?

Look Mozilla, I use my Google Toolbar about a million times a day. It's the only way I Google anything. Google Toolbar is a non-negotiable.

If Google Toolbar isn't compatible with the new version of Firefox, you should have told me first, and given me a choice of whether or not to upgrade. It's Monday morning, I'm barely caffeinated, I have two papers to write, and I really don't need your passive-aggressive bullshit.

I was trying to be kind, but now I'll just be blunt. I never loved you. I only switched to Firefox because Blogger behaved better with it.

I hope you're happy now. You've ruined our relationship. I'm switching to Chrome.

Goodbye.

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